Fall in Love with Love!

“ that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” - Ephesians 3: 17 – 19 (NKJV)

I’m in love! Now I’m not one to talk about my relationships really because I don’t like people all up in my business like that, but this is worth sharing. Truthfully, I’ve been “acting funny.” Not to say it’s been an on again, off again relationship - more like a hot/lukewarm relationship which isn’t the best either. I am loved unconditionally and it’s amazing, but I’ve just had so many doubts. I don’t think I can live up to the standards so I’ve distanced myself. I don’t talk as much and wasn’t really into the texts like I was in the beginning.

They say the beginning is like the honeymoon period right? You’re all in love and just can’t get enough. Probably about three-four months ago is when the honeymoon period ended (for me). This relationship was really about to go somewhere, and that’s when the doubt started settling. To think of this as a long term relationship is really overwhelming, and not to mention I have a past that *whispering!* isn’t the “prettiest.” No matter how neglectful I was or wanted to hide, I kept being pulled back. I like that, though. Being pursued! To be WANTED! But then again, it’s … ME! What’s so special about me?

I didn’t want to lose out on this relationship all together, so I would chat to make sure I check-in. I may not be fully committed right now, but I’m still here. This week, though. I just had this longing to feel deeply loved and cared for, to not feel alone or unworthy. Yet, I was filling this void with fantasies and worldly desires that did not fulfill, but in fact, made me feel even more unworthy.

This morning I decided to have the conversation that I’ve been avoiding, and every single doubt that I had, I shared. For every doubt, there was reassurance. Not only that, I was reminded of promises that will NEVER be broken. After that conversation, y’all I fell in love all over again with the One who loved me first! None other than my Papa Heaven! (You all may know Him as the Heavenly Father.)

Do you know what He said, though? “You doubt yourself so much that you don’t trust Me. I created you with a plan in mind with ALL your flaws and weaknesses. I gave them to you for a reason. I know you better than you know yourself, and I STILL love you. I can still use you despite of who you are or what you’ve done in your life. If you knew what I knew, you wouldn’t run or hide from Me, because you’d see the glory on the other side. Don’t worry about what you can’t do or what you don’t have, because I release where you lack. I AM, Courtney! I just need you to follow Me and let Me be Me!”

There are so many of us that are feeling unworthy, alone, neglected, and abused. We find comfort in the meaningless things the world has to offer when we really desire the One who knows us best, the One who loves us the MOST! He wants us to draw near to Him (James 4:8). He’s a gentleman. He will not come where He is not invited. Our hearts may be hardened to let Him in because of what He’s allowed to happen in our lives, but I promise this to you all. He didn’t allow it so it can break us. He allowed it so it can MAKE us. He wants to use us for His glory, but most of all, He wants the opportunity to love on us. Shower us with all the love that only He can. Get to know His love. Get to know Him. Then you’ll want to tell others how you fell in love with Love!

I love you! God loves you more!